What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Randomize
