Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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