I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
