I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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