i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
