Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
