Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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