yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
