I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Randomize
