There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
