I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Send help, water and tortillas.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
