Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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