he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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