cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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