Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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