My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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