hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize