i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
