once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
