How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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