My brain says no but my pants say off.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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