She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
