her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
