I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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