i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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