Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Randomize
