gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Bring me that man meat
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
