my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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