On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Holy sore nipples Batman
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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