My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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