Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
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I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
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I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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