I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I love you. Go after that dick
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize