I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
