I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
