Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
