I look better un-naked...
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
