I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
