Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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