Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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