the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
