I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I enjoy the company of your penis
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
