thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
