the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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