Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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