I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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