3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
