So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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