hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I don't think brook has ever known best
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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