I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Too much gin, very little bucket
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
