I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
