Plan B is the new Plan A
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
