You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize