I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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