Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
