Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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