I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
