bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Randomize
